First, something positive: I've been really enjoying the conversations with my host parents (mostly mother). One night, for example, we stayed at the table for 3 hours. I'm very interested in the socialist system present in many European countries and how drastically it differs from the political and social system in the United States. Of course, I've experienced the socialist lifestyle in Finland, but it still amazed me to hear my host mother explain all the benefits from the government that reach so many domains of daily life--education, healthcare, social security, etc. After hearing all of that (for example, how mothers receive stipends for back-to-school, how French mothers are appalled when they actually have to purchase a book for school, how immigrants, once they have children, receive all the benefits as any other French citizen, etc.), I couldn't help but feel that France is such a nice (nice as in generous, not pleasant) country. It really would be génial to live here, I think. It's a humbling concept that no one is out in the cold on their own; French society offers you help via governmental aid (taxes). At the end of the day, the way that society is set up undeniably affects individual thought. Due to that relationship, I think that the US government's "every man for himself" philosophy translates to a very individualist, independent population. But what of those people who can't find a job? Or have a serious illness? You really have to be financially secure in the US, otherwise you are constantly living in the fear that if you get sick, you won't be able to pay your medical bills. I don't know, it just seems that the French have more sympathy and understanding for someone who can't quite make it on his own. Unfortunately, there are many people in the US who would rather do anything than pay taxes (even to help others), and that makes me sad. I'm just starting to understand how these systems really work, so I'm not trying to speak as any kind of expert on the subject. This is just something I've been thinking about.
Due to this (and just the fact of being here and all that that brings to my mind), I've been thinking a lot about what country I'll choose to build a career, settle down, and so on. I've been feeling a lot of stress and general frustration lately because it's such a hard decision to make, but it decides everything. I prefer the European social model, the political system, the way of life, etc, but just being in France (away from the US) for 2 short months has made me realize that it's not that easy. You can't just leave your 'home' and expect to feel a sense of belonging in a foreign place. I love France, I feel good here, and I believe I feel more at home here than most of my friends on my program. But that doesn't change the fact that there are things about the US that I wouldn't want to leave behind, at least not permanently. So essentially I'm at a standstill, trying to choose between two continents that are so drastically different and unfortunately separated by a great physical distance. Being here has given me a lot of time and an interesting perspective to think about this (not only am I physically kind of 'between' the US and Finland, but France is similar to Finland in many respects without being exactly the same. And the fact that I associate mostly with Americans here creates an interesting and apparently eye-opening combination), and as a result, it's been all I've been able to think about for the past few weeks.
Speaking of cultural things, something a bit more light-hearted: I went to an "American-style diner" here last week called Breakfast in America and had the best cheeseburger I've had in a long long while. My friends and I finished our meals off with chocolate milkshakes (definitely worth the 5 euro), and we were reminded about how comforting food can be. This restaurant also has incredible, real American breakfasts, so we're already planning to visit again to try that out. Pancakes, eggs, bacon....yum. I can't wait! (French breakfast sucks, haha.)
Classes are going a bit better. Mentir vrai actually makes sense now, although it's difficult to pay attention for a full 3 hours. Usually I make it to about the 1-hour mark. Then I start flipping through my planner and thinking of autres choses. :) However, I did get a nice fat zero on my first quiz...oops. Oh well, it doesn't count towards our grade, and it's ridiculously ridiculous (yes, that ridiculous) how the class is organized. Get this:
Oct. 22: Quiz on Bourgeois Gentilhomme and Menteur (2 books), discuss only BG in class
Oct. 29: Quiz on Acteurs de Bonne Foi, STILL discuss only BG in class
Nov. 5: Quiz on Fables and Contes (2 books), finally start to discuss Menteur in class
Nov. 12: Still discuss Menteur (why have I already read the 3 other books??)
Basically, we have to read all 5 books within the first 3 weeks and it makes no sense, since we discuss them one by one throughout the semester. But whateverrrr.
Some exciting news! I've been slated for the position of VP Programming for Delta Gamma next year. I'm so excited, and all the election hype (even if it was just through emails, it was very exciting for me) has me missing school/DG/friends quite a bit. I think next semester will be absolutely fantastic...being away from school has really made me realize how amazing all my friends are at school and how much I dislike being away from them. Next semester will be so DG-tastic for me, and I could not be more happy to go back to that in January. I will be one happy girl during Rush, trust you me...
Okay well, I'm now quite tired (9.30 am class this morning was hard on me), and I'm heading out tomorrow morning to go on a tour of Pere Lachaise cemetary (Oscar Wilde, here I come). So I'm going to go to bed. One more bonne nouvelle--Anna is coming to visit this weekend! She is flying in tomorrow, and I know we're going to have the best time. :) I'll update on that next week!
Bonne nuit!
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